Disconcerting Feelings

The wrong side of the bed, definitely. 3 and a half hours of sleep, yepp. Anxiety, high asf. Postpartum, trying to win…

How am I dealing with it? I’m not. I’m avoiding it, to write this. I feel like this could be more productive. Realistically, I need to deal with whatever is causing my restless nights. Do we ever take our own advice? Hell nah. Why do smart people do dumb shit? Why will my brain not give me a moment of silence? Self Sabotage, with a dash of insecurities today my friends!

Wtf. Oh mannnn.. I need an adult today. But luckily.. for yall, I will continue to be productive! I’ve noticed my energy has been all over lately, and my BS has been at an all time Low/High(depending on which BS you are referring to).

Lol, that being said. What would you do in these moments? I usually clean. I’ll cook a meal for the family. Laundry, the never ending chore we avoid.. I won’t! Go for a walk, yeahhhh I’ll do it. Just like every day.. I do the things, but I’m still not okay. I talk. I talk A LOT.

Today, I talk in silent. My brain hurts, there’s toooooo many thoughts, words aren’t forming correctly, and my stutter is noticeable. Even more insecure. I just need.. silence within myself. So, I think today I will turn my phone on DO NOT DISTURB, enjoy the silence. Because I cannot continue to feel like this everyday. I have my purpose and I still feel like this.

I have some disconcerting feelings, I talk it out. Never, ever keep that shit to yourself. Do you have a trust buddy? A team of people who fucking get it? No? Hi, I’m Tibby and WE FUCKING GET IT! You don’t have to suffer alone, we can do it together while helping eachother.

I appreicate yall, thanks for being another purpose when I feel like I dont need one.