Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation that involves an individual or a group of individuals secretly planting the seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group of individuals.It’s a severe form of emotional abuse that often leads them to question their own memories, thoughts, or events that have happened. If the behaviour is not stopped, it can result in a victim doubting and losing their own sense of identity and self-worth.
Gaslighting can also extend to one’s work life. A person who gas lights would be plain torture to work with, especially if they occupy a managerial position. They may verbally abuse their subordinates by distorting the frame of events and hiding the truth. Moreover, a parent who gas lights may be seen smothering their children with affection one second and the next second could be ignoring them and being as cold as ice.
The long effects of gaslighting are
* Anxiety and depression
* Delusion
* Isolation
* Psychological trauma
* Mistrusting yourself
When you sense that you’re be influenced by a person and their talk getting a hold of you,the things you need to do are as follows
1) You’re unsure of who you are. You’ve been conditioned to appease and mold into the expectation of what another expected you to be. Take time to reflect, be alone, write, think, be still, meditate, pray. Go back to the things you can remember brought you joy as a child and take small steps to get out there and do the things that make you feel good.

2) You doubt yourself in everything. From struggling with a simple decision like “what do I want to eat tonight” to doubting your own self worth “oh they’re just saying that to be nice, I’m not [anything]”. Someone else controlled your reality to this thinking. Take the time to really feel through and introspect will make things easier over time.

3) You battle with inner negative talk often. You’re not good enough, smart enough, capable enough but when you peel it back, you are these things and more. Give yourself the compassion you give others and you’ll start to see how brainwashed you once were.

4) You’ve got a lot of stuffed emotions. You had to deny and stuff in order to survive but the body never forgets. Feeling through the pain of the past – the anger, the sadness, the rage, the despair, the regret – is critical so you can heal and move on. This often times requires help and I’d suggest somatic or EMDR therapy to get into the body especially if the abuse is compound to the point of trauma.

5) YOU ARE A GIFT TO THIS WORLD. Your empathy, compassion, giving, and love is something an abuser can not understand and will not ever have.

Writer Credit: Kranth Prakash Pathrapalli from India