Category: Depression/Anxiety

Living Through Depression

So I’m going to ask something scary: do the words “mental health” make you uncomfortable? They used to make me feel that way, too. But depression and anxiety are just like any other illness. They’re nothing to hide away. In fact, these journeys should be shared and celebrated.Depression is something that shows itself differently for everyone. There is no one person, or one story, or one experience that can make someone universally understand truly how depression alters the lives of those of us who suffer from it. I can’t make anyone understand how it is for everyone, but I can tell you how it alters my life, and maybe that will help people understand how all-encompassing it really is.The ways that depression manifests itself when it breaks through the barriers I one sets with the help of years of therapy and medication. It is a frightening state of mind that seemed to go on indefinitely. The very idea of waking up was riddled with dread. A state of internal turbulence, apprehension and negativity about the future propelled the total collapse of a positive and optimistic attitude.Depression is not particularly tolerated in society, and I realised that those around me were of two persuasions. One group of people wanted to fix me, telling me to pull myself together or recommending professional help. The other group tended to shun me like a leper.It is like a fever that can be scary in the moment but isn’t inherently bad, depression causes a decrease in functional wellbeing, impairing many domains of life, such as work, social relations and sexual life. However, though unpleasant, fever is not the product of biological malfunction. Rather, it is an important infection-fighting mechanism,which made me develope a deeper understanding of the genuine suffering of others.My suggestion is to would be to explore refuge from positivity as a new space to experience life, alternative to running away from life through illusion is to explore an illusion-free space for as long as possible, so as to become more capable of bearing the reality of a disillusioned and concrete life. If successful, you’ll free yourself from your faux-positivity and your chains.At the end,of course, we might not be able to liberate ourselves, either from suffering or from illusions. Life is hell, and it looks as though no heaven awaits us, to top it off,after all, we have nothing to lose.

Writer Credit: Kranth Prakash Pathrapalli from India

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Struggling with Abandonment

Constantly living in fear of what can happen, will ruin what is happening. I know this too well. Because I’m doing it.

Abandonment Issues, heard the term? It typically happens when a caregiver or parent doesn’t give the child enough attention or attentive behaviors the child needs. Traumatized by life, or the things people have done to them.. tricky thing is, over time the child turns to an adult, having learned these patterns of how their caregivers “lack of” has always been. While in romantic or platonic relationships, when the same patterns arise they automatically recognize, the overwhelming anxiety and fear sets in. These people may also exhibit behaviors that push people to leave so they’re never surprised by the loss.

Many who suffer with this issue often find themselves fearing real intimacy, cycling through relationships in order to avoid heartache. When they find someone, the sometimes become irrational, self sabotaging themselves to leave. Many find themselves staying in unhealthy relationships simply because they don’t want to be alone. Last but not least, WE NEED CONSTANT REASSURANCE.

Everyone has or will leave. That’s how it’s always been. Unfortunately, there’s no cure for this. It’s a form of overwhelming anxiety. You either learn who to hold on to and who to let go. I wish it was as easy as just trusting your words, but when actions follow.. we learn, we “wall up” push you to leave, or we leave. It’s not simple or easy for anyone involved. It takes Trust, Communication, and Actions.

“I give anyone a chance, but once you come at me left, then my perception of you has changed for life. Because You didn’t have to do me like you did. And you know I’m 100. But you did that.” -Kevin Gates

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Postpartum Trigger ⚠️

Dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to handle. This coming from the 30 something year old PTSD ridden, recovering addict. I never thought I could feel so defeated, but driven to survive. Before I would have tried to throw in the towel. I haven’t relapsed either. The thoughts are there. I’m battling something so unfamiliar, fighting so hard everyday. Having a baby brought back unwanted feelings and memories, that never effected me before.

I have to say, with every depressive moment there comes a Manic day where I accomplish more than I imagined. Reason for this, I study and put my studies into actions. I don’t read for my health, but I do. Without the knowledge I’m teaching myself, to handle these episodes, I wouldn’t be able to come on and write. Fighting to survive an invisible enemy, no one understands, is definitely a subject I need to focus on. Knowledge is all I have and the teachings of those before me or with me.

I need to find peace and love within myself again, so I can beat every episode efficiently. Without the proper tools, I’ll just keep fighting and ill never start living for happiness. It’s not a dream, it’s a goal I have set for myself for my future. My actions henceforth must provide accomplishments toward this goal. If you know someone battling these invisible diseases, just show support. The more you know…

Some tips for those supporting the mother’s, make it about her again.

She needs to know she is loved and cared for. Appreciated on every level. Caring. Growing. Nurturing… all the things, need to be recognized. Without her this wasn’t possible!

Stop trying to fix her, and just help. That’s it.

Offer to go with her to appointments, take responsibility for the things she has to do. Ask the doctors questions. Show Initiative!

Stop asking what you can do, and just do it. Dishes piled up, wash them. Laundry gathered, wash it. It’s not hard to please women. Basic things like chores around the house. Cooking dinner. Ordering flowers for no reason.

Celebrate her success, she needs the reassurance her life matters. Even if it’s only as simple as figuring out how to reprogram a remote.

Look outward for your own support, close relative or friend of hers. Looking out for her can take its toll on you.

Postpartum support comes in many forms. Just ask for help. For the both of you. You’ll need it.. because this sneaky condition that effects mother’s after childbirth. Taking its toll on her, baby and others. Overwhelming and isolating, don’t be ashamed. Be there without judgment. These feelings are simply out of our control.

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Compartmentalization

What is compartmentalization? As defined online: diving into sections or categories; is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance, on the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person having conflicting values, cognition, emotions, beliefs, etc., with themselves.

Compartmentalization is just your brain allowing both ideas to coexist within your pyschie. Basically causing internal direct and explicitly acknowledgement and interaction between separate self states.

These people who suffer with BPD divide people into Good and Bad to avoid conflicts. Removing the compartments. They use Denial or indifference to protect against any indication of contractors evidence.

Using indifference towards a better viewpoint is “normal” but for someone use to using multiple compartments ideals. Having had to modify to be uncomfortable, at the risk of being found incorrect can cause double standards and bias.

Conflicting social identities may be dealt with compartmentalize them and dealing with each only in a context dependent way.

Confirmation Bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor and recall information, ina way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or Values.

Context dependency is tired along with memory targets; the context can therefore cue memories containing that contextual information.

As I deep dive into this subject to better understand myself, I find that the more you dive, the more complex the information received is. I will continue to provide information on the subjects I choose to study, below is a website I have been reading from.

Affective Compartmentalization VS. Destructive Compartmentalization

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7191781/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3962716/

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Isolation

How do we stop blaming others for our unhappiness when they never caused the pain we silently suffer from? Self Sabotage at its finest hour!

The smallest thing can set off a full episode. The first sign of sketchiness, doubt or even simply recognized patterns, we step right into flight or fight mode. What steps do you take to overcome this anxiety? Triggers will be everywhere, and what defines you is how you deal with it. I usually call a friend, but if that’s not possible stepping outside to breath and think more positively can help.

Okay. So say you have already surpassed the anxiety and a full fledged panic attack is on the rise, what do you do then? If you want to avoid taking the pain out on those around you, I suggest isolation for a few moments is still always a positive way to deal accordingly.

Long term pointers- Surrounding yourself with people who understand, is always a good way towards healing. I know it sounds weird, how can they help? Just a support system in place is the biggest step, helping aim you down your path to inward self healing. Guidance, advice, or just someone to vent to. All very serious contributions.

Isolation for a few moments can be very soothing to your mind. No conflicting opinions. Just silence to breath. Say a mantra, sing a song, or Count to 10! It’s silly, but it can help. If it gets to the point, these don’t help.. call someone to help talk you down. Are you in a position, to ask for help? Don’t be scared. I know people just don’t get it, but I promise there are a few who do.

If you have an open communication with your loved ones.. I suggest always telling them how you feel. Maybe not all of it at once, but bits an pieces along the way so they can learn that this happens. And, please apologize before hand when explaining that although they haven’t done things necessarily to you, triggers can’t be avoided but understanding for future endeavors can be very important. I know this road isn’t easy, but the more you learn about it, Talk about it and put those teachings into action, the easier the process of changed behavior can be for you and those around you as well.

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Borderline Personality Disorder

Topic of the Day! Research and get to know about this.. because if you know someone who suffers from it.. the knowledge of knowing is the first step to understanding why they are the way they are.

Borderline personality disorderAlso called: BPD, emotional dysregulation disorder.

Main Results

Requires a medical diagnosis. Symptoms include emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships.

People may experience:Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraintMood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadnessPsychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissismAlso common: thoughts of suicide

As described from NIMH.GOV

Risk Factors

The cause of borderline personality disorder is not yet clear, but research suggests that genetics, brain structure and function, and environmental, cultural, and social factors play a role, or may increase the risk for developing borderline personality disorder.

  • Family History. People who have a close family member, such as a parent or sibling with the disorder may be at higher risk of developing borderline personality disorder.
  • Brain Factors. Studies show that people with borderline personality disorder can have structural and functional changes in the brain especially in the areas that control impulses and emotional regulation. But is it not clear whether these changes are risk factors for the disorder, or caused by the disorder.
  • Environmental, Cultural, and Social Factors. Many people with borderline personality disorder report experiencing traumatic life events, such as abuse, abandonment, or adversity during childhood. Others may have been exposed to unstable, invalidating relationships, and hostile conflicts.

Although these factors may increase a person’s risk, it does not mean that the person will develop borderline personality disorder. Likewise, there may be people without these risk factors who will develop borderline personality disorder in their lifetime.

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High/Low

How do you keep the energy alive when the Manic Episode depletes? I need to know, because I’ve tried everything to keep this going. The fall is so bad, when the highs are high.

I was recently told what an FP(favorite person medical term) was and why I cling so much to that ONE person. They’ve never hurt me, but when I m not given the attention or the love I need.. I feel abandoned, not good enough, I push them away and question their motives for even talking to me. “Why would anyone love me when I cannot love myself? That’s absurd.”

When I’m riding that Manic High, I feel so unstoppable. I forget that I need to take my meds for two doses today. Why, because I’m not thinking. Then my FP calls and I’m clung to him/her. The convo doesn’t go as I hope, or something was misunderstood. Back down I go! How do I prevent a self sabotage event before the mania is gone, because once I fall I’m dragging my FP with me. Not even intentionally, at all!

Call your friends, talk to your mom.. get someone who understands to talk you down from the sabotage. Your FP may be able to help, if they understand that is. Talk, always. Because they may be able to help you stumble out of the fall, back in to the high you wanted to stay floating on.

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Disconcerting Feelings

The wrong side of the bed, definitely. 3 and a half hours of sleep, yepp. Anxiety, high asf. Postpartum, trying to win…

How am I dealing with it? I’m not. I’m avoiding it, to write this. I feel like this could be more productive. Realistically, I need to deal with whatever is causing my restless nights. Do we ever take our own advice? Hell nah. Why do smart people do dumb shit? Why will my brain not give me a moment of silence? Self Sabotage, with a dash of insecurities today my friends!

Wtf. Oh mannnn.. I need an adult today. But luckily.. for yall, I will continue to be productive! I’ve noticed my energy has been all over lately, and my BS has been at an all time Low/High(depending on which BS you are referring to).

Lol, that being said. What would you do in these moments? I usually clean. I’ll cook a meal for the family. Laundry, the never ending chore we avoid.. I won’t! Go for a walk, yeahhhh I’ll do it. Just like every day.. I do the things, but I’m still not okay. I talk. I talk A LOT.

Today, I talk in silent. My brain hurts, there’s toooooo many thoughts, words aren’t forming correctly, and my stutter is noticeable. Even more insecure. I just need.. silence within myself. So, I think today I will turn my phone on DO NOT DISTURB, enjoy the silence. Because I cannot continue to feel like this everyday. I have my purpose and I still feel like this.

I have some disconcerting feelings, I talk it out. Never, ever keep that shit to yourself. Do you have a trust buddy? A team of people who fucking get it? No? Hi, I’m Tibby and WE FUCKING GET IT! You don’t have to suffer alone, we can do it together while helping eachother.

I appreicate yall, thanks for being another purpose when I feel like I dont need one.

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#TiBbyHonest #LetsTalkAboutIt

Regardless of how you may feel, or what you are going through..  The conscious effort to avoid conflict while dealing with your inner demons(as I like to call them), is a step in the direction of self healing. Whether that works, is a different question.

Let’s face it.. you can’t control the actions or feelings of the ones you are trying to protect during your down. Usually, you try your best to warn them: “I’m emotionally unavailable and don’t want to take it out on you”, they turn around and disregard you. Immediately what you wanted to avoid, becomes the exact thing that happens.

What do you do now? Apologize. Always apologizing. We just want you to understand, it’s not you we are upset with.. It’s ourselves! We hate that we need reassurance constantly and validation our feelings are heard. Sometimes we just need space to feel. Or, Not at all. Silence for ourselves, to process the right thoughts and not the insecurities others have placed in our broken minds. A breather.. to breathe.

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Apologize

Regardless of how you may feel, or what you are going through..  The conscious effort to avoid conflict while dealing with your inner demons(as I like to call them), is a step in the direction of self healing. Whether that works, is a different question.

Let’s face it.. you can’t control the actions or feelings of the ones you are trying to protect during your down. Usually, you try your best to warn them: “I’m emotionally unavailable and don’t want to take it out on you”, they turn around and disregard you. Immediately what you wanted to avoid, becomes the exact thing that happens.

What do you do now? Apologize. Always apologizing. We just want you to understand, it’s not you we are upset with.. It’s ourselves! We hate that we need reassurance constantly and validation our feelings are heard. Sometimes we just need space to feel. Or, Not at all. Silence for ourselves, to process the right thoughts and not the insecurities others have placed in our broken minds. A breather.. to breathe.

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Accountability

Self Sabotage


What is self sabotage?


Behaviors or thought
patterns that hold you back
and prevent you from doing
What you want to

Procrastionation
Drug Alcohol dependancy
Comfort Eating Disorders
Self Harm and OCD

These are just some ways we find how to deal with the constant battle within ourselves, to normalize/steady the thought process and bring comfort to ourselves outside of our dysfunction.

People aren’t always aware that they are sabotaging themselves. Some indivichuals
struggle with powerful And painful forces tempting them to self sabatoge – costing them
their health and relationships. An accumulation of dysfunctional and
distorted beliefs lead them to let and underestimate their capabilities,
suppress their feelings or lash out on those around
Long-term self sabotage, beginning during traumatic experience from childhood or throughout time an accumulation at traumatic events : It can be difficult
to self identify You don’t have to self-defeat if you Just talk, listen or
learn.

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#LetsTalkAboutIt #TiBbyHonest! 05/14/3021

Topics of Duscussion

  • Anxiety
  • Feeling yourself falling
  • Having mad Love and Support is crucial!
  • Understanding

Following the root and branches if what the underline cause of your “everyday” anxiety.

Social Theory referred to ideas, arguments, hypothesis, thought-experiements and explanatory speculations about how and why humans societies – or elements or structures of such societies- come to be form change and delvelope over time or disappear.

Www.oxfordbibligraphies.com July 27th 2011

Social contructionist theory

  1. Rational Choice
  2. Structurtional Functionalism
  3. Social Action

Theories by: Spencer and Durkheim, Weber and Pareto

All analytical frameworks, paradigms, used to study and interpret social phenomenon.

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Social Theory 05/14/3021

Topics of Duscussion

  • Anxiety
  • Feeling yourself falling
  • Having mad Love and Support is crucial!
  • Understanding

Following the root and branches if what the underline cause of your “everyday” anxiety.

Social Theory referred to ideas, arguments, hypothesis, thought-experiements and explanatory speculations about how and why humans societies – or elements or structures of such societies- come to be form change and delvelope over time or disappear.

Www.oxfordbibligraphies.com July 27th 2011

Social contructionist theory

  1. Rational Choice
  2. Structurtional Functionalism
  3. Social Action

Theories by: Spencer and Durkheim, Weber and Pareto

All analytical frameworks, paradigms, used to study and interpret social phenomenon.

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#LetsTalkAboutIt 05/13/2021

Topics of Discussion

  • Addiction
  • Insomnia
  • Triggers
  • Medications
  • Chemical imbalances
  1. Small Goals
  2. Staying Focused

Source: http://www.healthline.com/

Continue reading →
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Taming your Stress-Fueled Emotional Limbic System

If you struggle with high anxiety that impacts your life, there are ways to naturally suppress that anxiety that doesn’t require workouts or diet changes but rather a simple redirection of thought.  And if your anything like me your rolling your eyes thinking yea right, if I can redirect it with just my little own brain I would have done it.  Well calm your brain and pop a Xanax and pay attention.  The brain is the culprit of intensifying each moment with a ton of “What if” scenarios that will most likely never happen and once we address it at the source it can slow down and naturally chill out.  So, before you light that joint or pop a xanny lets try something else.

Suppressing your anxiety is not a healthy way to deal with stress.  The better approach is to describe it.  Are you overwhelmed, tired, pressured, overworked, underpaid, angry?  Labeling your state of mind allows you to redirect your thought process and thereby your actions by simulating your prefrontal cortex of your brain.  The prefrontal cortex of brain is the more rational and analytical part.  So, if Spock would live in your brain…this is where he lives.  By using your frontal cortex of your brain, you naturally chill out your anger, and anxiety fueled thought process and in turn one will make less irrational decisions.

The more you practice it the easier it will be.  The body will soon naturally respond this way thus allowing you to get ahead of the crazy train and redirect your anxiety or stress into a more productive state.

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