Category: Music

Hypervigilance: When Reading the Room Turns Into Writing the Whole Damn Story

Some children grew up asking their parents what kind of day they had.

Other children knew before the parent took their shoes off.

The front door closed three decibels louder than normal.

Keys landed on the counter instead of the hook.

Mom’s jaw was tight.

Dad sighed before answering a question.

The refrigerator door got shut with unnecessary enthusiasm.

Nobody announced that the mood in the house had changed, but everybody knew.

And somewhere in the room, one kid quietly adjusted.

Talk less.

Don’t ask for anything.

Keep your brother from making noise.

Clean something.

Disappear.

Be funny.

Be useful.

Figure out whether tonight is going to be normal, uncomfortable, or one of those nights.

Nobody necessarily taught that child how to do this. There was no family meeting titled “Advanced Emotional Surveillance Techniques for Minors.”

The child simply learned.

When the emotional climate of a home is unpredictable, paying extremely close attention to other people can become useful. Research on childhood maltreatment suggests that some children become unusually sensitive to emotional threat cues. Abused children, for example, have been found to recognize anger with less perceptual information than other children, and some maltreated children identify fearful expressions faster. (PubMed Central (PMC))

That makes perfect sense.

If someone else’s mood determines whether dinner is peaceful or terrifying, their facial expression isn’t casual information.

It’s the weather report.

And you live outside.

The Mood Drove the Family Car

In some homes, the parent isn’t just another passenger in the emotional vehicle.

Their mood is driving.

Everybody else’s nervous system is buckled into the back seat.

If Mom is happy, everybody can breathe.

If Dad is irritated, the kids become quieter.

If a parent is unpredictable, everyone starts watching.

How hard did they close the door?

What tone did they use?

How quickly are they walking?

Did they answer normally?

Why haven’t they answered?

Was that sigh about work?

Was that sigh about me?

Should I ask?

Definitely don’t ask.

Actually, maybe asking will make it worse.

Maybe not asking will make it worse.

Fantastic.

Childhood has apparently become bomb disposal.

Research increasingly supports the importance of unpredictability itself. Unpredictable parental and household experiences have been associated with later emotional and mental-health difficulties, even beyond traditional measures of adverse childhood experiences. (PubMed Central (PMC))

A nervous system living in that environment has a perfectly reasonable assignment:

Predict what happens next.

The problem is that children grow up.

The assignment sometimes doesn’t.

Hypervigilance Becomes a Language Nobody Talks About

Eventually the behavior becomes so automatic that we don’t even call it hypervigilance.

We call it:

“I can read people.”

“I know when something is off.”

“I felt their energy change.”

“I know that look.”

“Something about their tone wasn’t right.”

And sometimes?

We’re absolutely correct.

That part shouldn’t be dismissed.

Research suggests childhood maltreatment can produce heightened sensitivity to certain threat-related emotional information. Some people really do notice subtle changes other people miss. (PubMed)

You noticed the smile tighten.

You heard the hesitation before the answer.

You recognized that someone’s voice changed when a particular subject came up.

You noticed they suddenly stopped making eye contact.

Your nervous system might be picking up legitimate information.

But here is the distinction that trauma rarely teaches us:

Noticing a cue and correctly explaining the cue are two completely different abilities.

You may be 100% correct that someone’s behavior changed.

That does not make you 100% correct about why.

That is where things get messy.

The Brain Hates an Unfinished Story

Imagine you’re talking to someone.

Everything is normal.

Then their responses get shorter.

They stop smiling.

They look at their phone.

Hypervigilance notices:

Something changed.

Excellent.

That may be accurate.

Then the brain begins submitting its screenplay:

They’re irritated.

They’re irritated with me.

I said something wrong.

They’re pulling away.

They’re hiding something.

They’ve probably been irritated for three weeks.

Actually, this explains Tuesday.

And Thursday.

And that weird “okay” text from February.

Congratulations.

We have gone from one facial expression to a six-part Netflix documentary.

The nervous system detected data.

The mind supplied the explanation.

And those aren’t the same thing.

Research illustrates exactly why this distinction matters. Childhood adversity has been linked with difficulty distinguishing threat from safety and with greater tendencies to interpret ambiguous or neutral facial information negatively. Some maltreated children, for example, have been more likely to label ambiguous expressions as angry. (PubMed)

So hypervigilance isn’t necessarily imaginary.

It may simply be calibrated toward avoiding missed threats, even at the expense of creating more false alarms.

And from a survival standpoint, that math makes sense.

If you’re a child living around actual danger, incorrectly assuming Dad is angry when he isn’t might mean hiding in your room unnecessarily.

Failing to notice when he really is angry might have much worse consequences.

The developing brain learns which mistake is safer.

Better ten false alarms than one missed explosion.

Useful childhood strategy.

Complicated adult relationship strategy.

So How Accurate Is Hypervigilance?

Here’s where we should resist the internet’s beloved tradition of inventing a percentage and putting it over a picture of a brain.

Science does not currently give us one meaningful number for how often a hypervigilant person’s intuition is correct.

There is too much variation between people, trauma histories, situations, emotional cues, and research methods.

More importantly, studies show a mixed picture.

Some trauma-exposed people identify certain negative emotions more quickly or with less information. Other research finds biases, misidentification, poorer threat-versus-safety discrimination, or difficulties predicting ordinary events. A systematic review of eye-tracking research in PTSD even found that evidence for a simple, across-the-board “superior threat detector” model is relatively weak. (PubMed Central (PMC))

One study of adults with PTSD found greater symptom severity was associated with more difficulty accurately predicting what happened next even during neutral everyday activities. (PubMed Central (PMC))

So the fairest interpretation is this:

Hypervigilance may improve sensitivity to particular cues without guaranteeing accuracy about what those cues mean.

Think smoke detector.

A highly sensitive smoke detector might detect smoke faster.

That’s useful.

But if it also starts screaming every time somebody makes toast, sensitivity has stopped being the same thing as accuracy.

When Hypervigilance Doesn’t Serve Us

The Short Text

You send:

“Are we still meeting tomorrow?”

They answer:

“Yep.”

Your nervous system:

They normally say “Yes lol.”

Something is wrong.

Your brain:

They’re pissed.

They’re distancing themselves.

I knew something changed.

Reality:

They’re standing in line at King Soopers holding laundry detergent and a rotisserie chicken.

The shortened response was real.

The international incident was fictional.

The Quiet Partner

Your partner gets home and seems unusually quiet.

You notice immediately.

That observation may be excellent.

Then you ask:

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Now your nervous system starts stretching.

Nothing means something.

Something means me.

Me means relationship problem.

Relationship problem means abandonment.

We have now taken one quiet Tuesday and converted it into divorce proceedings.

Meanwhile, your partner has a headache.

The Boss’s Face

Your boss walks by looking irritated.

Hypervigilance clocks it instantly.

She’s mad.

Probably about your work.

Probably the thing you submitted yesterday.

You’re getting written up.

Maybe fired.

Better start looking for another job.

She just got an email saying the copier contract increased by $4,000.

You correctly identified irritation.

You incorrectly appointed yourself the cause.

This distinction matters enormously.

Hypervigilance Often Gets the Observation Right Before It Gets the Story Wrong

This may be one of the most useful ways to work with it.

Instead of telling yourself:

I’m imagining everything.

Try:

I may have noticed something accurately. I don’t yet know what it means.

That respects the nervous system without putting it in charge of criminal prosecution.

There is a difference between:

“You seem quieter than usual.”

and

“You’re obviously mad at me.”

One is an observation.

The other is a conclusion.

Between those two sentences lives an enormous amount of emotional freedom.

Inquire, Don’t Assume

Hypervigilance doesn’t need to be destroyed.

It needs a new job description.

Old job:

Detect threat and immediately determine the explanation.

New job:

Detect change and gather more information.

That can sound like:

“You seem quieter than you were earlier. Everything okay?”

“I noticed your tone changed when we started talking about that. Did something bother you?”

“I might be reading this wrong, but you seem uncomfortable. Am I picking up on something?”

“You seem frustrated. Is that about this conversation, or is something else going on?”

“I noticed you pulled back a little. My brain is trying to fill in the blanks, so I’d rather ask.”

This is where hypervigilance can become surprisingly useful.

Because someone who spent years noticing micro-changes in human behavior may have developed tremendous observational skills.

The goal isn’t necessarily to stop noticing.

The goal is to stop treating every observation like a verdict.

Turn Surveillance Into Curiosity

There is something deeply unfair about telling trauma survivors to simply “stop overthinking.”

The brain learned these behaviors because, somewhere along the way, noticing mattered.

Children adapt to the environments they’re raised in.

Research on maltreatment suggests that perceptual systems can essentially become tuned toward emotionally important information, particularly threat. (PubMed Central (PMC))

The adaptation wasn’t stupid.

It may have been brilliant.

But survival skills are context-dependent.

A machete is useful in a jungle.

Less useful during couples therapy.

The adult task isn’t:

Stop trusting yourself.

It’s:

Separate what you observed from what you inferred.

Try breaking the experience into three parts.

What did I actually observe?

His answers became shorter.

What is my brain telling me it means?

He’s angry with me.

What else could explain it?

He’s tired.

He’s distracted.

He’s worried about something else.

He’s irritated but not with me.

He’s overwhelmed.

Or yes, maybe he really is angry with me.

Then comes the revolutionary behavior that somehow humanity still struggles with:

Ask.

Your Nervous System Can Be a Witness Without Becoming the Judge

Hypervigilance can notice the temperature change in a room.

That’s a skill.

But it doesn’t always know who touched the thermostat.

Trauma can teach us to become extraordinary observers while simultaneously training us to expect certain explanations.

Anger.

Rejection.

Danger.

Abandonment.

Punishment.

Those explanations may once have been statistically reasonable within one particular household.

But your childhood home was a dataset.

It was not the entire human population.

That’s the part worth remembering.

Your brain may still be running predictions using information collected years ago from people whose behavior was genuinely unpredictable.

That doesn’t mean your instincts are worthless.

It means instincts are information.

Not evidence beyond reasonable doubt.

So notice.

Pay attention.

Respect the little internal voice saying something changed.

Then make it finish the sentence differently.

Not:

Something changed, therefore I know why.

But:

Something changed. I wonder why.

Hypervigilance spent years teaching us how to read the room.

Healing may be learning that we don’t always have to write the ending before anybody else gets a chance to speak.

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The First Moments Matter: 9 Ways Parents Can Build Emotional Security Before the Day Begins

The way a child experiences the beginning of the day can become more than a morning routine. It can become a repeated message about whether the world feels predictable, whether their feelings matter, and whether the adults they depend on are emotionally available.

Mornings are rarely peaceful.

There are lunches to pack, shoes that have disappeared into the mysterious dimension where children’s belongings apparently go to die, homework that somehow wasn’t mentioned until 7:14 a.m., and at least one person who cannot find the exact shirt they wore yesterday.

But beneath all of that ordinary chaos is something more important: connection.

Research on child development consistently emphasizes the importance of responsive relationships, predictable routines, warmth, and opportunities for children to communicate with caring adults. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child describes these responsive back-and-forth interactions as “serve and return,” noting that they help build the foundation for children’s developing brains, social skills, and emotional well-being.

The American Academy of Pediatrics likewise notes that children generally do best with routines that are regular, predictable, and consistent, while also allowing enough flexibility that family life does not become a military operation conducted over cereal.

That means creating a healthy morning is not about constructing a perfect schedule.

It is about creating repeated moments in which a child experiences safety, connection, attention, and belonging.

Here are nine practices that can help.

1. Regulate yourself before trying to regulate your child

Before the morning rush begins, give yourself a moment.

Take a few breaths. Drink some water. Sit quietly for sixty seconds. Stretch. Pray or meditate if that is meaningful to you.

This isn’t about becoming some impossibly serene parent who floats through the kitchen while everyone else calmly eats organic oatmeal.

It is about recognizing that your emotional state affects the atmosphere your child experiences.

Children depend on adults to help them manage emotions they cannot yet consistently manage on their own. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child emphasizes that supportive relationships can help buffer children from excessive stress and support healthy development.

So before correcting your child’s attitude, ask yourself:

What am I bringing into this room?

Sometimes the most productive parenting decision is taking ten seconds before responding.

2. Connect before you correct

The first interaction of the morning doesn’t have to be:

“Get dressed.”

“Brush your teeth.”

“Where are your shoes?”

“Did you finish your homework?”

“Why are you still in bed?”

Try connection first.

Make eye contact. Say good morning. Give them a hug. Ask how they slept. Smile at them.

Then deal with the backpack.

This isn’t about eliminating boundaries. Children still need expectations and structure. The CDC identifies predictable responses, warmth and sensitivity, routines, and appropriate discipline as important components of positive parenting.

The difference is the message underneath the correction:

“You are loved, and there are still things you are responsible for.”

Those two ideas can exist together.

3. Build predictable rituals

Children benefit from knowing what comes next.

A simple sequence might be:

Wake up → bathroom → get dressed → breakfast → connection → leave.

The exact routine will look different for every family.

The important part is predictability.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends regular and consistent family routines because they help children know what to expect. It also recommends preparing as much as possible the night before to reduce morning conflict.

Predictability can be especially valuable when a child is already dealing with stress or uncertainty elsewhere in life.

A routine communicates:

“You don’t have to figure everything out alone. There is a structure here. You know what happens next.”

4. Make room for laughter

Not every meaningful parenting moment has to be serious.

Make a ridiculous face.

Dance for ten seconds.

Use a ridiculous voice.

Make breakfast into a tiny competition.

Laugh about the fact that somebody put their socks on inside out.

Playfulness can create connection without requiring another lecture, another rule, or another carefully planned parenting activity.

Harvard’s work on child development emphasizes that responsive interactions can happen during ordinary moments throughout the day. They don’t require elaborate activities or expensive educational toys.

Sometimes connection looks like playing.

Sometimes it looks like laughing about a pancake that came out shaped like a shoe.

Both count.

5. Ask about their emotional world, not just their schedule

Parents naturally ask logistical questions:

“Do you have your lunch?”

“Did you pack your homework?”

“Do you have practice today?”

Those questions matter.

But children also need opportunities to talk about what is happening inside them.

Try:

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“Anything bothering you today?”

“What are you looking forward to?”

“Is there anything you want me to know before you go?”

You don’t need to turn breakfast into a forty-five-minute therapy session.

Sometimes the answer will be:

“Fine.”

That’s okay.

The goal isn’t to force disclosure. It is to establish that emotional conversations are welcome.

The CDC emphasizes the importance of supporting children’s social and emotional development, while the AAP identifies safe, stable, nurturing relationships as an important foundation for children’s mental and emotional health.

6. Use physical affection when your child welcomes it

A hug.

A kiss on the forehead.

A hand squeeze.

Sitting beside them for a minute.

These small moments can communicate something words sometimes cannot:

“You’re safe with me.”

Of course, children have different comfort levels with physical affection. As they grow, their need for autonomy grows too.

Connection should never mean ignoring a child’s boundaries.

Instead, create opportunities:

“Want a hug before you go?”

“High five?”

“Need a minute with me?”

Responsive caregiving means paying attention to the child’s signals and responding appropriately. Harvard describes this back-and-forth responsiveness as an important part of healthy development.

7. Protect some morning space from screens

Technology is not automatically the enemy.

But when the first interaction of the day is a parent staring at a phone and a child staring at a tablet, the family can miss opportunities for conversation and connection.

Consider creating a short screen-free period in the morning.

It doesn’t have to be an hour.

It could be the first ten or twenty minutes.

Use that time for breakfast, conversation, getting ready, music, or simply being together.

The point isn’t to create another rule parents can feel guilty about failing.

The point is to deliberately create space for people to notice one another.

8. Leave more room than you think you need

One of the simplest ways to make mornings calmer is to stop designing them around the assumption that everything will go perfectly.

Children move differently from adults.

They get distracted.

They forget.

They become upset.

They suddenly need to tell you an extremely important story about something that happened at recess three months ago.

If every minute is scheduled with no room for interruption, ordinary childhood behavior becomes a crisis.

The AAP recommends preparing for mornings in advance and balancing routine with flexibility.

Put backpacks by the door.

Choose clothes the night before.

Prepare lunches ahead of time.

Give yourself ten extra minutes when possible.

Not because your child needs to be handled like a fragile object, but because predictability and breathing room reduce unnecessary conflict.

9. End with connection before separation

The last thirty seconds before a child walks out the door matter too.

Don’t underestimate the power of:

“I love you.”

“Have a good day.”

“I’ll see you after school.”

“Remember, you can always talk to me.”

A hug.

A wave from the doorway.

A smile.

The AAP specifically recommends ending the morning with a positive goodbye, noting that even a simple hug and wave can give a child a positive feeling as they begin the day’s activities.

For older children, the ritual may change.

Maybe it becomes a fist bump.

Maybe it is a joke.

Maybe it is simply:

“Text me when you get there.”

The ritual doesn’t have to remain childish.

The connection does.

The Goal Isn’t a Perfect Morning

There is an important distinction between creating emotional security and creating a perfect household.

Children do not need parents who never lose patience.

They do not need parents who make every breakfast peaceful, every transition effortless, and every emotional interaction profound.

They need adults who keep showing up.

They need predictable care.

They need boundaries.

They need affection.

They need opportunities to talk.

They need adults who can acknowledge mistakes and repair relationships when things go wrong.

And perhaps most importantly, they need to experience that connection does not disappear simply because someone had a difficult morning.

The CDC emphasizes that healthy development is supported by safe, loving environments, time with family, responsive parenting, routines, and appropriate boundaries.

Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child similarly emphasizes that responsive relationships can help build the foundation for healthy development and can provide protection against the effects of significant stress.

So don’t worry about accomplishing all nine tomorrow morning.

Pick one.

Look your child in the eyes.

Listen to the story that is definitely going to make you late.

Give them a hug if they want one.

Tell them you love them.

Then send them into the world knowing that, whatever happens out there, they have a place where they matter.

Because childhood isn’t built from one spectacular parenting moment.

It is built from thousands of ordinary ones.

And sometimes the most ordinary moments are the ones children remember.

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How to Manage Conflict: Science-Backed Strategies

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, and how we handle it determines our relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being. Neuroscience reveals that the brain is highly adaptable, allowing us to rewire our responses to stress, anger, and confrontation. Whether you’re in prison, struggling with emotional control, or seeking better ways to handle disputes, these ten science-backed techniques can help you regain control and improve conflict resolution skills.

1. Practice Mindful Breathing to Regulate the Amygdala

The amygdala, responsible for processing threats, often triggers impulsive reactions during conflict. Controlled breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the amygdala and increasing rational thinking.

  • Hack: Try the 4-7-8 breathing method: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This reduces stress hormones and enhances emotional control.
  • Quote: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” —Viktor Frankl

2. Reframe Thoughts to Strengthen the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex governs reasoning and impulse control. Cognitive reappraisal techniques help shift negative perspectives and prevent aggressive responses.

  • Hack: Instead of thinking, “This person is attacking me,” reframe it as, “Maybe they’re struggling with something, and I can respond differently.”
  • Studies show cognitive reappraisal reduces aggression and fosters constructive conflict resolution.

3. Engage in Physical Exercise to Improve Emotional Regulation

Physical activity strengthens neural pathways related to impulse control and emotional stability, reducing reactive behavior.

  • Hack: Commit to daily exercise (push-ups, jogging, or stretching). It improves connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, enhancing self-regulation.
  • Quote: “Exercise not only changes your body. It changes your mind, your attitude, and your mood.” —Unknown

4. Use Visualization to Train Neural Pathways

The brain responds to mental imagery as if it were a real experience. Visualizing calm, controlled responses to conflict strengthens positive neural circuits.

  • Hack: Spend 5 minutes daily visualizing past or potential conflicts and mentally rehearse responding with calm assertiveness.
  • Quote: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” —Donald Hebb

5. Strengthen Social Bonds to Enhance Oxytocin Production

Oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” increases trust and reduces aggression, making conflict resolution easier.

  • Hack: Engage in meaningful conversations, offer support, and participate in group activities to foster positive relationships.
  • Higher oxytocin levels promote empathy and emotional resilience, key for handling disputes constructively.

6. Implement a Delayed Response Strategy

Impulsivity in conflict often leads to regrettable actions. A short delay before reacting helps the brain shift from emotional to logical processing.

  • Hack: When emotions rise, count to 10 before responding. This brief pause gives the prefrontal cortex time to intervene.
  • Neuroscience research shows delaying responses significantly reduces aggressive behaviors.

7. Practice Gratitude to Shift Emotional Focus

Focusing on gratitude increases dopamine and serotonin levels, making it easier to maintain a positive perspective during conflicts.

  • Hack: Each day, list three things you’re grateful for. This rewires the brain to focus on solutions instead of problems.
  • Gratitude improves emotional regulation and decreases stress-related reactions.

8. Use Bilateral Stimulation to Soothe Emotional Triggers

Alternating stimulation of both sides of the brain (such as tapping or moving your eyes left to right) reduces emotional intensity.

  • Hack: When feeling overwhelmed, try bilateral tapping (tapping each knee alternately) to engage both hemispheres of the brain and calm the nervous system.
  • This technique is used in trauma therapy to help process emotional stress.

9. Practice Self-Compassion to Reduce Shame and Guilt

Harsh self-criticism increases stress hormones, leading to defensiveness in conflict. Self-compassion promotes emotional balance.

  • Hack: When making a mistake, speak to yourself as you would a friend, reinforcing positive self-talk.
  • Quote: “Talk to yourself like someone you love.” —Brené Brown

10. Prioritize Quality Sleep to Enhance Cognitive Control

Sleep deprivation impairs the brain’s ability to regulate emotions, making conflicts more intense and harder to resolve.

  • Hack: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. If sleep is difficult, establish a nighttime routine and limit stimulants before bed.
  • Well-rested individuals demonstrate better emotional regulation and decision-making skills.

Conclusion

Rewiring the brain for better conflict resolution isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about managing them effectively. By practicing mindful breathing, reframing thoughts, exercising, visualizing solutions, strengthening social bonds, delaying reactions, focusing on gratitude, using bilateral stimulation, practicing self-compassion, and prioritizing sleep, you can reshape your brain’s response to conflict. Neuroscience proves that with consistent effort, you can regain control and develop a healthier, more constructive approach to challenges.

Scholarly References

  1. Davidson, R. J., & McEwen, B. S. (2012). Social influences on neuroplasticity: Stress and interventions to promote well-being. Nature Neuroscience, 15(5), 689-695.
  2. Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1-26.
  3. Hölzel, B. K., et al. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36-43.
  4. Ratey, J. J. (2008). Spark: The revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain. Little, Brown.
  5. Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are. Guilford Press.

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Destination: Week 1

Retreat to your childhood. Make a list of all the things you thought you wanted to be when you were younger and why. List everything down, even if it was a circus clown. Think about the things in life that shifted your decision to chase that path and reflect on what path you settled for. Do you wish to change the path your on?

Enlightenment Begins Within

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Music and the mind

 

Music and the mind! A beautiful topic, just four words but having deep meaning and impact to the human soul. Music is so broad, with lots of genres. You can be a lover of instrumentals or acapella, whichever one you may prefer; they are all forms of music. It goes way back, even to the very beginning of human existence in times of war. Bringing happiness, sadness, calmness, and other emotions to the human mind and soul. Today, I’ll be talking about music and its relation to our minds as human beings. I personally have experienced a lot under the influence of music. Some were beautiful while some were sad. Before I tell you my personal experience, let me tell you how music could help your mind or preferably your mental health.

 

It helps you study

Classical music is the secret behind this. Usually having a frequency of 60bpm (beats per minute). It helps when studying, by allowing your brain reason at a faster rate. It’s worked for me numerous times, especially when dealing with a difficult course.

 

It helps you relax

Most people know this. You just got home from the day’s work. Nothing feels better than a good song to calm your mind and body.

 

It helps you express yourself

This has affected me personally; sometimes when I’m down I just listen to music. I found it easy to express my emotions even by writing. I have a friend who expresses herself by writing which was triggered by songs she listened to.

 

Boosts your creativity levels

Listening to music boosts your ability to be creative, especially if you are a writer or a painter. This could help if you have an unfinished project and lack inspiration to continue.

 

Helps motivate you

Sometimes when you want to dance, study or workout, music can serve as a means of motivation when you are feeling reluctant. All you need is the right track and you are good to go. This has helped me during workout sessions.

 

All these mentioned above are ways in which improves your mental health. Now, let me share a few experiences with you.

 

Music has impacted a lot to me. There have been times when I’m emotionally down, maybe due to daily activities or even a break up. At this point in my life, what I did was pick up my phone and listen to my favorite hip hop playlist. In just a few minutes, I was already up on my feet singing and dancing. This experience is an evidence of how music brought back that happiness I needed at that crucial moment of my life. Just like that, no counseling required, nothing just music and it felt magical. Also, as a writer, there were times I just lost it. There was no inspiration to write, I literally just went blank. I was confused and frustrated because I had to finish that project urgently, but nothing was coming. So, what did I do? At first, I tried reading, it didn’t work and felt like mental stress. Okay, so I decided to take a nap. When I woke up, I felt refreshed but still lacked the key inspiration needed to continue. Almost giving up, I unconsciously picked up my phone and started listening to few classical music and love songs. It may sound unbelievable but little by little, the inspiration started coming back. I was amazed and happy and continued with my writing. This is a life experience.  Even during my workout sessions, especially when I’m out jogging I love listening to hip hop or nice instrumentals that keep my groove going. It gives me all the motivation I need and makes me want to go on for hours.

 

So, what am I driving at with all these experiences? Just three words, MUSIC IS LIFE!

A world without music is unimaginable and undoubtedly boring. Trust me you wouldn’t want to be in that world. Most times, what music does to us can’t be explained; it can only be simply felt. As far as it makes you feel good, I’ll say you should keep listening. In fact, I have come to notice that most people who live or have a boring lifestyle either have a poor sense of music or don’t listen at all. There’s is even something called music therapy where music is used in hospitals to treat patients and aid recovery. Even in the aspect of psychology. So you see, music is everywhere and constantly part of us.

 

Make music a lifestyle today and experience the wonders and beauty it has to offer.

Feel the beat and enjoy the rhythm.

Written By Kalu FaithIMG_20170404_140453_230 (1)

 

 

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Roller Derby-You Go To Practice

You go to practice. You go to practice and wobble out onto the track. You wobble out onto the track wearing skates that are a size too big for you, a fact you won’t know until two years later when you buy new ones. You go to practice. You go to practice even though you can’t do T-stops, even though you can only skate 27 laps in five minutes, even though you have no idea what people mean when they talk about “getting a goat.” You go to practice even though you have no friends there. You shop for knee socks and go to practice.

You go to practice on a former ice-skating rink with an uneven floor in a dilapidated park district building. You go to practice in an abandoned store in a shopping mall. You go to practice in a skating rink with rain coming through the roof, with overflowing toilets, with fountains spewing toxic-tasting water and a cotton candy machine that produces a sickening smell on the weekends. You go to practice and do pace lines and pack drills and hitting exercises. You go to practice and work on endurance and communication, and you try to master the basic skills. You go to practice and wonder if you’re getting sick or are just out of shape. Still. You go to practice and pass your 27 in 5.

You go to practice and fall on your tailbone while scrimmaging. You go to practice and fall, shaving the skin off where your thigh connects to the floor. You go to practice and shave the skin off in the exact same spot on the other thigh. You go practice because for some reason you feel like you should go to practice, even though you mostly suck and are afraid you will have to jam. You are not sure you even like this roller derby thing. You go to practice and picture yourself coming out of practice on a stretcher. You wonder who on your league can drive stick shift to get your car home.

You go to practice at a hockey rink off a terribly trafficked highway exit with a delicious floor and air conditioning. You know your skates suck now but you keep going to practice. More things are starting to make sense. You go to practice and see someone break an ankle, the first of several ankle breaks you will witness over the coming years. The ambulance drives off and you keep practicing.

One day you go to practice and get a concussion. You miss a few practices, which helps you realize you might enjoy practice more than you thought you did. That it might be something sort of essential about your life now. You go to practice and start to feel a little more comfortable when someone hands you the jammer panty. At least it doesn’t fill you with dread. It might even be fun sometimes.

You finally get new skates and they hurt so much you want to cry at practice. You get cramps so bad you have to stop skating and physically bend your feet out of a claw position. Maybe you do cry. You wonder if you will ever be even sort of good at derby again. You go to practice. You bout. You go to practice. You bout. You go to meetings. You go to practice.

During your third year, your league gives you an award at the end-of-season party, which shocks and humbles you. You put the award in a frame and go to practice. The days in which you imagine leaving practice on a stretcher have become few and far between.

You go to practice because your friends will be there. You go because you never know if something might click that time. You might do something good. You go because there might be beers afterward. You go because it speeds the workweek along to the weekend. You go to practice to prepare for a bout. You go after a bout, too, to work on the deficiencies that made you lose or maybe to try to capture those things that helped you win, to grab onto them before they slip away. You are dog-tired, but you go to practice.

When your boyfriend dumps you, you go to practice. You go to practice even though you might cry at practice. Then you go to practice because it’s the only place you don’t cry. It seems possible that you can sweat out the bad thing inside you. You skate like the world is ending.

You go to practice even when you don’t want to go to practice. Derby has taken over your life and you wonder if there will ever be a time where you don’t have to go to practice. And sometimes you don’t go. Sometimes you want to stop the feeling of being caught in an endless roundelay of practice, practice, practice. So you just tell yourself: fuck it. You work late. You go to the bar. You lay around your apartment in your underwear, reading magazines and watching serial dramas on your laptop. You go back to practice.

You go to practice because there’s no one waiting for you at home. Or maybe you go to practice because someone is waiting for you at home. You go to practice because what the hell did you do with all your free time before you went to practice? You go to practice because you feel like hitting someone. You go to practice because you feel like being hit. No one asked you to do anything else so you go. Someone asked you do something you’d rather do, but still you go to practice. You go to practice because you’re hungry to practice. You go to practice because you’re never going to be any younger than you are right now. Because your body isn’t broken yet or because it isn’t broken anymore. You go because it’s hard to imagine life before there was going to practice. You go to practice because you want to feel like you’re flying. Over and over again.

You go to practice, you go to practice. Because that’s what you do.

 

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Welcome to Dark Tales of Understanding

A website for those needing a light at the end of the tunnel.  We are just building out site and updating daily with Articles.  If you want to read about something in particular send us an email at darktalesofunderstanding@gmail.com.  We welcome Guest Bloggers so please email us for open topics.  We also have a Dawn of Darkness Advice Column so email your questions for a chance to be featured in our weekly Column! Thanks for visiting!  Please leave a comment and again we are slowly building the site so there is so much more to come!

 

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